Thursday, June 22, 2006

How Life came to be.

While there are many questions out there, one that many people have asked is "How did Life come to be on this planet?" In this post I will tell you how this miraculous thing happened.

It all started back in 1967 when Bob Dovaney was playing checkers. He was having a rife good time and wanted to have the same kind of fun in his mouth. He turned to Tomas (his son, and opponent) and said "You know Tom-o" (for that is what Mr. Dovaney called his son) "I wish there was a way to pack all the fun that we are having in this here checkers game into my mouth."
Tomas looked up as he jumped a piece "Well you work at General Mills, why don't you make a cereal that is this much fun?"
"T to the Omas" (Which was the other name that Mr. Dovaney called his son.) "I just might do that." And he got up and went to work designing the cereal.
Many moons later during the spring of 1968 (the year that saw the birth of headbands, arm hair, and the crazy dance they called the 'Lobster') Mr. Dovaney unveiled his new cereal to General Mills. He called it Check-Squares and they were squares of wheat with a checkered pattern. Everyone down at the office just loved Check-Squares, and liked the name even more. Everyone was like "Dude, I just got some arm hair, and man these Check-Squares go great with them! Check Square!" Now this last interjection of "Check Square!" may seem out of place, but in fact it wasn't, because the fellows down at the GM plant liked the cereal so much that they made a dance up for it every time they ate the cereal.
But all was not good for Mr. Dovaney for you see Tom (which Mr. Dovaney never called his son) soon discovered a enthralling new game called Life. And soon Tomas introduced it to his unsuspecting father. After just one use of the new game Life Mr. Dovaney was hooked, he couldn't stop playing it. As the weeks progressed Mr. Dovaney fell into a downward spiral of playing Life. Often times during work he would run off to the bathroom to get in a quick game. Soon is marriage was suffering.
Finally, the night before the public release of the smashing new cereal, Check-Squares, Mr. Dovaney was visited by the Ghost of Cereal Future and told him to re-name Check-Squares after what his vice was, Life. So the next morning he ran straight off to work and informed the company of the name change to Life Cereal.
Many people claim that Mr. Dovaney went crazy after that, but this is just not true, because in all reality he went crazy way before this. He actually didn't have a son named Tomas (his name was really Tommy), he hadn't play checkers with him (it was chess), and as you already know there isn't a dance called the Lobster (it is actually called the 'Funky Crab'). He received counseling over the summer of 1970 to fix his dementia. But to this day there is one thing that Mr. Dovaney was truly crazy about: Life Cereal.

And that is how Life (the cereal) come to be on this planet.

1 comment:

The Math Ninja said...

You can't say I'm crazy or that I don't make sense anyomre.