So the terrorists are anti-democracy, not anti-American or don't just want us to be there. They are anti-democracy.
We could have been as nice as anybody wants (which i think we are tiring to do), and we would still arouse the anger of the terrorists. Why? Because the Shiites are going to win most of the governmental seats in the election. And, when the minority that was wrongly in power gets replaced by a majority that is legitimately in power, they tend to get pissed.
If we want Iraq to be free, we are going to have to deal with terrorists. There is no way around it.