Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Worship the Printer Devil, or no printouts for you!

What is so hard about making a printer? We spend hundreds of dollars on one, and it still only works 90% of the time. All it is, is a monitor that prints onto paper instead of onto a screen. Think if your computer monitor would work only 90% of thetime, you would be very mad at the manufacture. But when we have a printer that does it we cuss and accept it. Why?
What if your car worked 90% of the time? You need to get to a meeting and it wont start. So you open the hood, blow on a couple of things, unplug some hoses,plug them back in, maybe slap the side of your car. Then it works...
I think that might by why malfunctioning printers are really annoying. You don't really ever fix it, you just cast enough Voodoo on it to get your job printed off, and then let the next guy cast his own spells so he can get his job done. It takes the white wizard down at the print shop to even get three days of trouble free printing done...
Maybe this would be a solution: Lets hire priests to bless each printer as it is made. Because there must be something inherentlyevil about putting what you see on your computer monitor down on paper. If it wasn't evil, and just faulty, it wouldn't wait to mess up until you are running late in the first place.
The stupid little printer daemons are waiting in there going: "Oh look at this guy! He is rushing around, and he just sent us two papers to print! Oh-ho-ho-ho! Watch as i hold up this job for 25minutes. And then when he gives up, lets print it out again and again, so that when he gets back there are *three* copies just waiting for him, all to late to be useful. Ha-ha! Life is great when you are the printer devil."
Well Im off to go work on my level 3 black ink ward spell, if I can master it I can take a black ink cartridge, shake it, and get enough ink out of it to print at least five more pages...

p.s. This is a summary of my day so far.

2 comments:

Moral Turpitude said...

The problems you are experiencing with the printer are simply a distraction. While you are messing with the ink cartridge the printer daemons are stealing cash out of your wallet.

Ookami Snow said...

Ah crap. Is that kinda like when a guy asks you for change and while you are digging through you pockets he knocks you up-side your head, then when you come to, you find that he stole your Best Buy discount card?